Two years ago, I was doing this:
Since then, we’ve gone on adventures, shared jokes and hilarious cat videos, and cooked lots of tasty meals. We’re both writers, so these two years have also included evenings in separate rooms, typing away. Sometimes people ask what it’s like to be married to another writer, and so far it’s working out pretty well for us. Here are my reasons why you should marry* a writer:
- Marry a writer because he knows that sometimes you need to go into the other room/a coffee shop/the library and not talk for a while, and that doesn’t mean you’re ignoring him.
- Marry a writer because she loves books and moving in together will mean expanding your home library. (Note: this means you need more bookshelves than you’ll think you need.)
- Marry a writer because he understands the anxiety of submitting work and the disappointment of receiving rejection letters.
- Marry a writer because she’ll brainstorm and talk seriously about your characters and plots with you.
- Marry a writer because he understands it’s a real job. Even if you need an additional day job to help pay for things like rent and food.
- Marry a writer because she won’t get weirded out by Google searches like “how long does it take for a body to decompose?” and “arsenic poisoning symptoms.”
- Marry a writer because he’ll join you at readings and book signings.
- Marry a writer because she’ll put you in her book acknowledgments.
- Marry a writer because he’ll spend hours with you at a bookstore and not ask “can we go now?” every ten minutes or side-eye that pile of books you’re going to buy.
- Marry a writer because she knows that sometimes revising takes priority over vacuuming or making something other than cereal for dinner.
- Marry a writer because he won’t get offended if you have to squeeze in some writing time during holidays.
- Marry a writer because she can remind you that, even when the writing is hard, you need to keep going because you’re a writer.
- Marry a writer because you’ll get to read/hear his work and feel so proud that the person you love makes amazing art.
But most importantly, you should marry someone who supports you and your writing. Who knows that this is your passion and your work, and loves that this is a major part of who you are. I know lots of people think pain and suffering makes good art, but I’m inclined to think that love and support are at the top of the list.
*And my “marry” I mean “share your heart with.” Forget traditional gender roles and structures.